Pick one

27 02 2008

After being frustrated with eating less food to try to lose some weight, I ended up falling off that plan.  Now, I eat what I want and feel satisfied.  And somehow, as a weird side effect, my blood sugars have gotten better.  I did tweak my I:C a touch, but that can’t account for everything.  I’ve had long stretches of time where I just hang out at 80-120.  Post-prandials are fantastic, I’m not starving all the time, things are great from a blood sugar front.

However, I’m not losing weight anymore.  I gained back what I had lost and now I’m steady at 132 again.  It seems like I’m going to have to choose between good blood sugar and weight loss.  I’m sure I’ll be able to do both someday, but that day is not right now.

Which is worse in the long run?  Higher blood sugars or higher weight?


Not good enough

25 02 2008

What a crappy weekend. I attempted to eat nachos and pizza. Unsuccessfully, of course. My 3 day average is up to 140, which is just flat-out unacceptable. My 30 day average is up to 130, which is too high for my tastes. I need to get my blood sugar down or else I will never be able to have kids.

I know I shouldn’t beat myself up all the time and that I should avoid the “perfectionist” mentality. However, I just can’t do it. My blood sugar HAS to be absolutely perfect. Mentally and emotionally, I just can’t accept a number above 120. It’s just not good enough. Every blood sugar that is out of range makes me sick. When I see my average creeping up, I’m so upset with myself I want to throw up. I’m so disappointed in myself.

Clearly, this attitude is not good for me in the long run. However, I don’t know what to do. I can’t just let myself go and accept the higher numbers. That’s not good for my long-term health either. Any suggestions?

Related Posts


20 02 2008

As you may know, I’ve been trying to pre-bolus at lunch to get my lunch post-prandials down. Today, like any other, I did just that.

11:38 or so: Test blood sugar. 89. Great! Bolus for 44g carbs for frozen dinner thing and a yogurt. Plan to wait around 15 minutes before fixing lunch.

11:48: Post about finishing a fantastic knit sweater.

11:51: Begin working on post about cupcakes and wombs.

12:05: Post about a tasty goleem.

12:08: Begin freaking out because it’s been 1/2 hour since I’ve bolused and I haven’t eaten yet.

12:12: Scarf down both lunch and Starbursts in an attempt to bring self back up from a stupidity-induced low.


What went wrong?

19 02 2008

I’ve been trying to get my blood sugar down just a hair, closer to a 115-120 average, instead of 125-130.  I tried some different things.

  1. I lowered my “target” blood sugar to 95 instead of 100.  This has worked out pretty well so far.
  2. I “pre-bolused” (bolus ~20 min before eating) for lunch, since my lunch times are very, very predictable and my lunch post-prandials were a touch high.  This works most of the time, when I remember to do it.
  3. I increased my evening basal from .80 to .85 (since my bedtime blood sugars were often a touch high).  This produced semi-decent results, so I moved on to step 3.
  4. I increased all of daytime basal to .85.  This resulted in disastrous lows before meals.  I got super cranky and it was general unpleasant.  So, scratch that plan.  Back to .80.
  5. I changed my insulin/carb ratio from 1:10 to 1:9.5.  (Side note, my morning I:C ratio is already 9.5, so I just changed the rest of the day.)  This shouldn’t make a huge different, right?  RIGHT?!?!?  Not so!  I spent almost all of yesterday low.  I was fine right before lunch, but after that, my highest was 115.  Twice in the 40s.  I consumed no less than 50g carb of Starburst, ice cream, and yogurt-covered raisins to keep my blood sugar from bottoming out.  So, scratch that plan.

What the heck went wrong?  I had no idea that such small changes would result in drastic lows.  Now I feel very discouraged that I’m going to be stuck with an average of 127, which is not really good enough.  Especially if I want to have kids some day.  Do I just have to deal with numbers in the 40s in order to get my average down to 115?

2 months away

18 02 2008

I finally got my act together, and made an appointment with a real endo (not just my general doctor).  I had a bad experience with my first one, so I put off finding another one for a long time.

The endo I chose is (from what I hear) very hip to the new technology and knows how to deal with Type 1s.  Of course, this means he is very popular.  The earliest available afternoon appointment isn’t until April 15th!  Yikes!  Oh well.  Small price to pay to get the best endo in town.  I have very high hopes for this appointment and of course, I’ll let you all know how it goes afterwards.

I just knew it

13 02 2008

Although I am currently working, I came upon an opportunity to apply for a job at a different company. I had my interview yesterday and, of course, diabetes was there too.

I resigned myself to wearing Lucy on my pants as normal because there would be no other good place to hide her (damn womens clothes for lacking pockets!). My suit jacket was long enough and just big enough to hide Lucy without being obvious at all. Small victory. =)

I had eaten around 12pm and the interview was at 2. I figured I’d test right around 1:50 before actually talking to people so I could treat a high or low as the case may be. Additionally, that would turn off my 2-hour-after alarm so I wouldn’t be beeping in the middle of the interview.

Well, my frantic test yielded a 55. WTF?!?! I knew I should have done an extended bolus for the Chinese food at lunch. Damn it! I scarfed down 4 Starburst, set a 85% temp rate for the duration of the interview, turned off my low reminder alert so I wouldn’t beep again 20 minutes later, and switched the beep to vibrate.

All this, so I wouldn’t look like a retard during the interview. Of course, I’m pretty sure I still managed to do that anyway. Read the rest of my non-D-related interview story on my regular blog.


12 02 2008

Just a quick, funny (well, in retrospect) story today.

Before dinner last night, I entered in my bolus of 5.5 units or so, then went to the bathroom.  Well, in the process, I managed to rip my site out of my hip – MID-BOLUS.  Stupid 1 minute delivery time.  =(

I managed to take a quick glance at my pump to see how much it had already delivered so I could estimate how much I was going to miss.  I struggled with cancelling the bolus, but not before it delivered another 2 units into the air.  *sigh*

I did a quick site change, entered in 0g carbs (so at least my carb count would be accurate for the day), then manually entered in the 2.7 units or so that I missed.

All in all, the experience went fine (to say nothing of my mysterious high before bed), but it was still a funny sight to see me with my pants down, site hanging out, still delivering insulin.  =)