Gimme a break

26 09 2008

For most of September, things were pretty normal.  Blood sugars were fine, no big problems one way or the other.  I went to work, went to class, hung out with friends, watched TV, the usual.

Then for some reason, in this past week, things went to hell.  I rode high for most of Monday and Tuesday, and I finally settled on a 160% basal rate to get things under control.  That’s pretty intense.

I’m not sure exactly what happened in my body to warrant that much insulin.  Probably a combination of stress due to massive meetings at work, pre-period insulin resistance, trying to heal some bruises from moving bookshelves, and fighting off a cold.  Any one of those things I can handle easily by itself.  But all 4 together makes for quite the control nightmare.

I finally got some decent sleep last night, and my cold seems to be going away, so I’m down to a 140% rate.  I may even lower it more as the weekend (and the fun) arrives.

It is weeks like this that make me really hate having diabetes.  No matter what, I cannot take a break.  Even if things are under control, life can take things on a random turn that throws things off course.  All I can do is adapt, deal with it, and keep a positive attitude.



5 05 2008

Well, turns out my high blood sugars were most likely due to happy happy female issues…  So, things are mostly under control again.  I also raised my basal rates a touch.  I know at my last endo appointment, I had been having a lot of lows, so we wanted to back off the basals a bit.  However, now I am finding that I have waaaay too many highs or semi-highs (i.e. 130 isn’t bad, but it’s not a good fasting number).  Constantly battling highs was wearing on my nerves, so I bumped the rates back up.  They’re not as high as they were before the endo appointment, so hopefully I won’t have as many lows.

This past weekend was crazy busy.  So many parties and get-togethers and SWAGing for homemade tasty food.  This whole month will be equally crazy, so I’m trying to figure out what things I can do to keep myself from getting too stressed out.  In theory, I’d like to stop beating myself up over my blood sugar, but I’m not sure that’ll ever happen.  My diabetes is just too important right now.

Next week is my follow-up appointment at the diabetes center.  I’m planning on requesting a Dexcom.  I think it will ease some of my stress about trends so I know whether to fend off a low or a high.  I’ve already got a name picked out, but I will save that reveal until I actually have it it my hands.  Wish me luck!

Hate the diabetes, love the diabetic: A guest post by GiR

28 11 2007

I know the diabetes blogosphere likes calling us the ‘Type 3 diabetics’ – those who have loved ones with diabetes, making it a part of our everyday lives. When my lovely wife is having good blood sugar, my day is better – and when she’s not, my day usually isn’t that good either.

Last Sunday, Amalas (who was very stressed at the time) was telling me that I didn’t know what it was like to be diabetic – always watching blood sugar numbers, never knowing exactly what your blood sugar is going to be, never being in control of things as much as she would like. I told her that I do know – I live with her all the time. I’m always watching out for her, never knowing what her mood would be, and watching her have mediocre numbers even when I carefully counted out carbs and weighed her food.

When dealing with a stressed diabetic, hugs are not a cure…


19 11 2007

We all know that diabetes and depression go hand in hand.  I am no different.  Some weeks I just can’t get things together.  150% basals show little improvements (although I shudder to think of what my blood sugar would be like without it…), stress at work only exacerbates things, constant struggles to guess at carb content in food, etc.

Some days I just don’t want to do anything because no matter what I do, my blood sugar is out of whack.  Can’t eat those french fries because they’re too complicated, can’t go without eating at all because I’ll starve, can’t go for walks cause I might go low.  Can’t, can’t, can’t.  So many things I can’t do.

And the one thing that I definitely can’t do:  fix it.  This is never going to go away.  Ever.  I’m stuck with this damned disease every minute of every hour of every day.  It’s unrelenting and I can’t take a break.  Just let me breathe sometimes!!

Of course, the one thing I can do is persevere.  Keep on living to see another day.  Another day with diabetes.