Up and down

9 09 2008

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted.  There have been a lot of things that I’ve wanted to say, but just haven’t put the fingers to the keyboard.

  1. The sister of one of my coworkers died a few weeks ago.  The coworker has diabetes, and apparently so does his sister.  They say she died of complications of diabetes, so it was hard for me to hear that one of our own had passed away.
  2. I tried out the Apidra for a week and I have to say:  I HATED IT!  I was nothing but a rollercoaster all week.  My meal boluses were off, my corrections were off, everything was too wacky and unpredictable.  I switched back to my Humalog and I’ve had fantastic numbers since then.
  3. During that rollercoaster ride, I noticed my mood change drastically when my blood sugar was out of range.  I was cranky when I was low, and I felt like shit when I was high.  I only felt good when my blood sugar was between 90 and 120.  While I suppose this could be a good thing, it makes things very frustrating when I have an off day.
  4. Losing weight is still a struggle.  I tried doing low-cal for awhile, staying under a set number of calories per day, but that was really hard.  It seemed like it was nowhere near enough calories to keep me satisfied.  I felt hungry all throughout the day and ended up binging on crap and ruining the low-cal thing anyway.  I’ve also fallen off the exercise wagon now that it’s colder and I have class once a week.  It doesn’t seem like there’s enough time.  I wish I could come up with a plan that would work long-term.
  5. The pressure to have kids is stronger than ever.  Now that my A1c’s been good 3 times in a row, people take that as a sign that it’s time to have kids.  From my perspective, I’m content to simply continue having an awesome A1c, so I can have kids whenever I want.  Also, there’s an awkward thing going on with my work, and I won’t want to think about getting pregnant until next May-ish, but that doesn’t stop people from mentioning it ALL THE TIME.

It’s been great keeping up with all of you in the Diabetes OC.  Keep up the great posts!


Not fair

23 04 2008

I am getting soooo frustrated.  I’ve been exercising nearly every day for the last month and I have lost a grand total of…. 1-2 pounds.  I’ve seriously cut down my food intake.  I’ve cut down my insulin intake (both because of less food and better basals).  And what do I have to show for it?  Absolutely nothing.

GiR, on the other hand, eats whatever the heck he wants, barely exercises (well, he exercises with me, but I know it’s not as intense as he is used to) and he stays very trim.

I feel like it’s such a waste.  If I’m working my ass off and have nothing to show for it, then what’s the point?  It’s just not fair.

Back from hiding

26 03 2008

Well, I haven’t actually been hiding. I’ve been stuck in work-mandated training that has no access to the internet. Ewwwww…. I’ve got a couple days break, so I’m catching up on all sorts of internet goodness, including writing this post. =)

I’ve made a few more tweaks with Lucy and my blood sugars have been fantastic! We’re talking like nearly completely normal numbers fantastic. I had a couple days where either I was sick or I had to SWAG a lot, but other than that, I’ve been averaging around 120. Sweet.

  • I added in a short higher basal section in the early morning to combat a small dawn phenomenon
  • Upped my insulin: carb ratios again. 1:8.5 for breakfast and 1:9 for the rest of the day
  • Upped my overnight basal rate from .60 to .70

Now I can wake up around 75, have post-prandials in the 130-140 range, be 85 or so before meals and go to bed at 100. Now, a small note about waking up at 75. That may seem low to some people, but I am trying to prep myself for having kids someday. 75 is not the end of the world.

I have also come to the realization that I desperately need to lose 10-15 pounds.  I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it really hit me a couple days ago.  I’m going to continue to work on reducing snacks or having lower-calorie snacks, but the big thing this time is exercise.

GiR and I have worked out a decent outline for exercise goals for me.  We’re going to focus on running since that’s quick, easy, and GiR likes to do it too.  =)  My long-term goal is to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes by June 30th.   Shorter-term goals include 1 mile in 10 minutes by April 30th and 2 miles in 20 minutes by May 30th.

Then, the weekly plan includes a point system.  30 minutes is worth 1 point (15 min is 1/2 point, 1 hour is 2 points, etc), and I have to earn at least 5 points in the week to get bonus points.  Additionally, I have to exercise at least 5 days during the week to get the bonus points too.  For example, if I only do 15 minutes one day, that counts towards the number of days, but I will have to do 45 minutes another day to get back the missed points.

Every once in a while I cash in my points for various stuff, like a video game, yarn, or discount on a larger item.  It’s not quite a 1-1 point-dollar ratio, but close.  Like, 7 points might get me a 5 dollar item.  This system has worked well for me in the past as a way to keep myself motivated to exercise.

I’m hoping that by June 30th, I will be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes and that I will also be closer to my goal weight.  In my dream fantasy land, I will get down to 120, but I have the feeling I will end up at 125, which is fine.  I’m just getting sick of seeing 132 or higher on my stupid scale.

Pick one

27 02 2008

After being frustrated with eating less food to try to lose some weight, I ended up falling off that plan.  Now, I eat what I want and feel satisfied.  And somehow, as a weird side effect, my blood sugars have gotten better.  I did tweak my I:C a touch, but that can’t account for everything.  I’ve had long stretches of time where I just hang out at 80-120.  Post-prandials are fantastic, I’m not starving all the time, things are great from a blood sugar front.

However, I’m not losing weight anymore.  I gained back what I had lost and now I’m steady at 132 again.  It seems like I’m going to have to choose between good blood sugar and weight loss.  I’m sure I’ll be able to do both someday, but that day is not right now.

Which is worse in the long run?  Higher blood sugars or higher weight?

Bummed and hungry

5 02 2008

In my quest to do better, I’ve implemented a couple of the things I set out to do.

I did an overnight basal test and that looks accurate. I might want to do another one just to confirm.

I “pre-bolus” (bolus about 15 minutes or so before eating) for lunch during the week since I eat those at a very regular time. This has definitely lowered my lunch post-prandial, so I think I will keep it up.

Regarding weight loss (which seems to be all the rage in the Diabetes OC), that’s still slow going. I have actually lost 2 pounds, which surprised me, but that could just be water, happened to have food in my stomach, holding Lucy vs. having GiR hold her, etc. I don’t see 2 pounds as anything to write home about. I’ll be excited when all 10 pounds are gone.

I did cut out snacks from the vending machine and replaced them with pre-measured bags of cashews. However, I can only eat so many cashews. I am frakking sick of them.

I just CANNOT get my daily carb count to be any lower than 150. 150 is pushing it as it is. 18 for breakfast, around 50 for lunch, around 50 for dinner, then about 20 for various snacks (See above re: cashews). That’s 138 without even thinking.

Relatedly: I feel hungry all the time. Like right now. My stomach is growling so bad and I just want to distract with some Doritos. But that’s another 30g carb that’s not in my daily allowance. What do I do?

Also, GiR will not buy or prepare meat for dinner. The question is always “pasta, noodles, or rice”? I mean, the meals will have some meat and plenty of vegetables, but I’m talking about real meat. Like chicken, a slab of beef, fish fillets, ANYTHING. It’s pretty hard to stay under 150 g carbs when my meals mostly consist of pasta.

I have the sinking feeling that all these problems are related. It’s hard to stay feeling “full” when most of my food is straight carbs with little or no protein. It’s hard to stay under 150g carbs if most of the food is carby. It’s hard to eat non-carby food when that’s all there is.

To do: Talk to GiR about incorporating more meat and low-carb meals into the budget/lifestyle. Suck it up and buy/prepare said meals myself.

Whee! Update!

16 01 2008

I fought through a couple occasions of highs that Would Not Come Down. We’re talking 160% temp rates, extra insulin at boluses, and still hanging out around 230. For days. I think it was partly due to some pre-period insulin resistance, and partly due to the fact that GiR was sick (and so was everyone else, it seemed) and my body was just working overtime to fight that off. Luckily, that seems to have quieted down and I have returned to normal.

I had a moment of “ugh, diabetes” earlier this week. I just got sick of having Lucy attached all the time. I mean, I love her dearly, but it’s so frustrating to never be able to step away for a minute. Thanks to an accidental tug on my infusion site, I treated myself to an infusion-site-free shower. It was a welcome separation from the constant reminder of diabetes.

I started my next semester of baking class and it will be interesting to figure out how much blood sugar will fare. I fought a string of lows during class, probably due to the fact that I’m standing the whole time and working my butt off to get stuff baked. I’m moving constantly, resulting in burning off a lot of energy. Of course, that is offset by the fact that there is soooo much good food to taste at the end. I generally don’t eat anything at class and just take it home for me to bolus for later. However, I have noticed that this textbook includes nutritional information for Every Single Formula. I am doomed to eat more food that I really want. Great…. Maybe the increased exercise makes up for it? Right?

Which brings me to part number 3. Losing weight. *sigh* I’m sure anyone who sees me thinks I’m so thin or whatever, but I know that 5 or 10 pounds can make a huge difference. My BMI is not where I want it to be, so I’m taking small steps to change that.

  1. Eat fewer snacks. I had been raiding the vending machine at least once a day for snacks, mostly just because I was bored. I have skipped the vending machine in favor of either no snacks, or cashews brought from home. I have found that I don’t really need the snacks and I’m saving money too.
  2. Do crunches every day. Most of my problem lies in my stomach. As such, crunches are my way to get started working on that. I also have a problem with my thighs, but that’s mostly genetic, so I’m giving up on on that area for now.
  3. Keep daily carb count under 160g.  This is merely my current goal.  I plan on lowering that to 150, then 140, etc. until I get a daily carb count around 120.  I think this is a good number for me and hopefully it will lead me (and GiR) to preparing more lower carb meals.

Anyway, there’s my diabetes dump for the fortnight.  Enjoy!